you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Randomize
