whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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