dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
