theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
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She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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