My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Everclear isn't food dammit
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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