Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize