I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
