I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
