i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
