Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
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Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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