Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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