Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
