Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
