I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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