Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize