We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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