Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Who died my cat blue again?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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