Porn is love you can see.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
