This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize