I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
