in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
