We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
