So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
