What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
