She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
