Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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