Michael Bay diarrhea
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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