There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
