Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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