Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
