i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
