so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
