you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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