these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize