Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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