First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian