Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died