So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?