But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?