Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
