so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
