woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
