Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.