i just wanna soil my oats bro
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
