I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
