before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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