woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Randomize
