The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
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The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
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AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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