That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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