great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
