May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
