I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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