He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Is it penis luge time yet?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
