i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im holly from the hills drunk
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
