Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
