i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
