im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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