sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
