I'll bet she douches with gravy.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
