David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
