Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
