well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
