Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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