yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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