drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
