I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
