My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize