Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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