Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
