The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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