I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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