I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
